Breaking Down
by Accidental Human Contact
Summary: Sorority Boys: It's not okay. They're breaking down. A touch of AdamxDave slash. Completed


 A/N: Was cleaning out my old files and found this. Challenge fic for Aryanna's B'day (2001?). Written in an hour. 'Adam and Dave spill sob stories' Words: sleeping, projectile, buzz, walk away, envelope.

 Adam looked up to find himself standing in front of the DOG house. Here again. Somehow his supposedly directionless strolling would lead him… here. He was tempted to waltz in unannounced, however the house lights had already been dimmed for the night. Dammit. He could have used the company right now. Nights spent in the frat house tended to leave him feeling vaguely… vulnerable these days. Sleep only seemed to grace him with its presence as dawn was about to break. He didn't really want to examine that too closely, so he took to wandering around campus. The vague hope that exhaustion may bludgeon him into sleep had been the original motivator, but after a while he had started to enjoy the time alone, the stillness, the darkness. A comfortable blanket to wrap himself in and allow his thoughts to wander aimlessly into the night. He breathed in the damp summer air, smiled fondly at the darkened house, and turned to leave. This place, or maybe the people who lived here, always made him feel RIGHT again. Life was… life was good right now. He felt comfortable in his own skin, if only for this moment. No reputation to keep, no responsibilities to uphold. Just this, just himself. 

 Adam found his fragile peace suddenly shattered as light flooded the path in front of him, followed by a crash from behind. Frowning at the unwelcome intrusion, he looked back towards the porch, only to be confronted by one very pissed off Dave storming from the house. The frown became one of concern as Dave stalked towards him, shoes in hand, hair unkempt, struggling to master the sleeves of his jacket. Dave reached him and paused mid-stride. Adam stared at him. "Hey, buddy". 

Dave threw him a quick glance. "Hey Adam. What're you doing here?" 

Adam, still scrutinizing his friend closely, replied "Oh, just out walking. Thought I'd call in while I was here." Vague concern cut through the anger on Dave's face. "You were out walking? Again?" 

Adam shrugged, shifting uncomfortably under Dave's eye. "Yeah. Helps me sleep." 

"You didn't tell me you haven't been sleeping."

"Look, Dave, it's no big deal. Don't worry abo…" 

"Jesus!" Dave flinched back as something hit his shoulder, hard. Adam spun to face the house, and saw pale arms angrily drawing a window shut with a slam. Leah's window. Looking back at Dave, he winced in sympathy. Dave picked up the projectile, settling the watch back on his wrist. Looking at the watch, he rubbed the face. Must've caught a scratch. "So… things not working out, huh?"

Dave looked up at him, "You could say that."

"Oh man, I'm sorry."

Dave just looked at him. "Don't be. It… it probably wasn't a good idea to start with." He sighed, chewing his lip. "I had thought…" he trailed off, looking up into the night sky. Adam reached out "You wanna go somewhere, talk about it?" Dave's gaze shot back to catch Adam's. He breathed out deeply, then nodded hesitantly. "Sure."

Adam smiled back at him. "Okay then."  

 You could be excused for thinking the park silent, however if you listened closely, you'd find it far from quiet. Adam lazily took in faint whisper of movement; leaves rustling in the breeze, the occasional buzz of insects, the grass being crushed beneath them when they shifted. He mused that the same thing could be said for Dave. No noise bar a hushed breath, or a shuffle to find a more accommodating position. They were lying side by side on a grassy knoll. Dave had suddenly called a halt to their walk, and dropped right there. Nothing had passed between the two since. Adam was actually glad of the chance just to sit and BE, the two of them. Things hadn't quite been the same between them lately. Adam enjoyed this comfortable stillness. He did not enjoy the sharp stick poking into his shoulder blade. A quiet "Ow", and he moved, removing the stick, and then rubbing his back into the damp earth beneath him. He felt the shift of the warm body lying beside his. "Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"…"

"Dave?" he turned to lie on his side, elbow supporting his head as he looked down at his friend. 

"Do you ever…? I just… I thought we could make it work, you know? I thought this was right for me. For the first time in my life, I honestly thought…" and here Dave trailed off, eyes misting slightly. He breathed out harshly, breath catching. "God…" a forearm came up to rub and cover his eyes. Adam let out a low sigh of sympathy. A couple of months ago he would have shuddered at the thought of seeing a mate cry in front of him, especially over a girl. Back then, consoling Dave would have consisted of getting him drunk, telling him she was a bitch anyway and setting him up to get laid. Now, he simply settled his free hand on Dave's shoulder. "Hey man, look, sometimes, sometimes shit just doesn't play out the way we expect it to. Doesn't mean it wasn't worth a shot. And it doesn't mean that it wasn't right." Dave let out a harsh bark at this. "Wasn't right? Adam, this whole fucking situation wasn't right. I mean, how FUCKED UP…" he paused, catching his breath. "What were we going to tell our children, huh? Hey kids, guess how your parents met. Well, Mummy loved your other Mummy very much, and then Mummy became Daddy which is why you're here!"

Adam let out a slight snort at this. 

"I mean…" Dave trailed off despondently.

"Dave…" Dave, lost in his own headspace, ignored Adam, staring instead at some fixed point beyond his shoulder. "DAVE." 

"Huh? What?"

"What actually happened back there?"

"I…don't want to talk about it."

"I thought that was why we were out here."

"Yeah but…" 

Silence. 

Then, "Oh FUCK IT ALL! Fuck EVERYTHING! I HATE. FUCKING. EVERYTHING!" he pounded the ground beside him with a tight fist, before uttering a strangled "Fuck" He screwed his eyes shut.

 Adam absently rubbed Dave's shoulder as he waited for him to continue. 

"It was just to hard, Adam. It got weird. We couldn't relate anymore. We didn't talk the way we used to. She loves me, but she fell for 'Daisy' man." --at this, he let out a strangled laugh-- "It didn't seem to matter that Daisy was a part of me. It just… wasn't the same. After." Dave lapsed into silence. Adam let the silence fall between them, not really knowing how to respond, just letting the physical comfort of his presence calm his friend. He'd found that guys really underestimated the comfort just…being there…touching…could provide. He watched closely as Dave's forehead creased and a rough hand pinched at the bridge of his nose, then rubbed across his temples as if to relieve the tension there. The hand stilled as Adam reached out and brushed the hair back from Dave's face, the simple, repetitive touch relaxing him. After an indefinite period of time the shoulder under his hand flexed, and Dave sighed softly. "I love her, Adam. I love her. I don't know how she can just expect me to walk away from that."

"So…why did you?"

Dave froze. "What?"

"Why did you walk away?"

"It's not like I had much choice, Adam!"

"Well, Dave, you were the one doing the walking, that's all I'm saying."

"What? Adam, she fucking threw me out, alright? She told me to get out!"

"So you did."

"So I did."

"So you walked away."

"NO! Look, I just…she was so… final on this, you know? I could see it in her eyes, man. She killed us. It's over."

 Adam watched him warily for a moment, then slowly nodded. His heart ached for his friend. Leah had changed Dave. She, and their relationship, had been what Dave believed defined him, his fresh start, his new self and all that. Lost in thought, he hadn't noticed Dave turn a quizzical gaze his way. "Adam?" 

"Yeah?"

"How long have you been having sleeping problems?"

Adam threw him a startled glance. "Uh…I don't know exactly. Why?"

Dave pushed himself onto his elbows, turning his head away, effectively shielding his expression. "Just wondering." He replied, shrugging. 

Adam shifted uncomfortably and sat up. "Look, Dave, if you want to change the topic of conversation that badly, why don't we just talk about the match on Friday?"

Dave turned back to him, "I'm not trying to 'change the topic' here. I want to know why you haven't been sleeping. I'm…well, I'm worried about you."

Adam looked incredulous. "You're worried about me?"

"Yeah. Umm…this doesn't have anything to do with, you know… Jimmy, does it?" he asked, embarrassment obvious in his tone. He hurried on, "It's just that Leah and I were talking about it the other day, and she said some stuff that got me thinking…" Seeing the colour drain from Adam's face, expression panicked, Dave continued "Oh god, it does, doesn't it? This is about that night." Dave sank back, implications whirling through his mind. Adam did/didn't remember being fucked/almost fucked by Jimmy and…and…and if you followed the trail of positives and definites in that sentence… And it was his fault. "Oh god…Adam, Adam what happened? What'd he do to you?" 

He looked back at his friend, only to find Adam had gone stock still, staring intensely at him. "Dave, I don't want to talk about it."

Dave quirked a slight smirk. "I thought that's why we came out here."

He sobered abruptly as he realized Adam was shaking slightly. 

"Adam?"

Adam, now outright glaring, hissed, "Fuck you, Dave. Fuck. You." He rolled, as if to stand, but before he could complete the action, Dave grabbed his arm, tightly holding him in place. 

"Adam." Adam refused to look at him. "ADAM."

The curly head jerked around. "What?" he snapped.

"Tell me." Dave tensed; convinced Adam was about to pull away again, when the other man slumped to the ground with a groan.

"Okay Dave, okay. You want to know what happened? I'll tell you what happened. I went to our room to get the tape, slipped Jimmy the roofie and waited for him to pass out. Only he didn't. I signaled my 'wing man' for help, but apparently something had 'come up' and I was on my own."

Dave winced and pulled back a little as Adam continued.

"Finally, I knocked the little shit out and found the tape. Only Jimmy must have decided that fucking an unconscious DOG would get his rocks off, because he'd put a roofie in my drink as well. God, if it'd been anyone else that might even have made me laugh." Here, the story came to a brief chocking halt, and Adam was horrified to realize he was on the verge of crying. Dave was looking at him, eyes wide, unbelieving or uncomprehending, maybe both. God dammit, he could do this!

"Woke up the next day wrapped around him, and you know, it felt so familiar… the bed, the warm body. For a couple of seconds I was convinced it had all been one really long, really disturbing nightmare. Only it wasn't. The tape was gone, I couldn't remember a thing, and the body was Jimmy. Then Dave, just to top off this little 'experience', I rushed out of our room only to be confronted with 'the Walk'. That's right Dave. They made me take 'the Walk of Shame.' Me! Adam! I'm the fucking driving force behind 'the Walk' Dave, I do NOT TAKE 'the Walk'." Adam took a harsh breath in, wrapped his arms around his knees, then continued quietly. "Couldn't remember what had happened, only knew I had cum on my skirt and couldn't sit down the next morning. And I couldn't… couldn't figure out WHY" – his voice hitching, tears thickening his speech – "I, I was the one who told Jimmy about sluts, and the way to bag them. I taught him about women. I taught him to treat them this way. The boy idolized me! God, the way I've treated some of those girls… He just wanted to get laid. I just keep thinking it's my own fault. I deserved this. Payback's a bitch. I deserved…" Adam broke off, giving in to the tears. He buried his head on his knees to muffle the cries wracking his body. Dave was distraught, watching his friend in stunned silence. The fucking ground had dropped out from under him. He felt sick. Adam… He leaned forward wrapped strong arms around Adam, holding him tightly. Holding him as if he could envelope the sobbing man under him. He whispered ragged soothing noises into Adam's ear, as they rocked gently, both holding on; Adam closing in on himself, Dave clutching Adam to his chest. 

 It didn't take long for Adam to calm down. The sobbing gentled and he relaxed out of his fetal crouch. Dave didn't let him go though. Adam, head still resting on Dave's chest, gave a shaky laugh. "Thanks man. I think I may have needed that." The only response he received was Dave arms briefly squeezing him tighter. Adam had calmed enough to realize Dave was tense above him. "Dave?" He looked up at his friend, only to gasp his surprise as took in the moist, miserable eyes and the glinting trail charting flushed cheeks. He hesitantly touched the glimmer before him, hands coming away wet. He stared at his fingertips in bemusement. Dave had been crying. This was… this whole fucking night was so… surreal. He looked back up only to find himself caught in Dave's gaze. The arms around him loosened and strong warm hands were suddenly cupping his face. Startled, Adam realized they were close enough for him to feel Dave's breath against his face. Dave stared into Adam's eyes; trying to convey everything he was feeling right now. "I'm sorry." he whispered harshly, "I'm so sorry Adam. So sorry." Adam felt himself flush under the intense gaze that swept his face, then flicked back into his own. He'd never been examined like this before. He certainly hadn't expected it from Dave. "So sorry." He repeated again. Adam shifted uncomfortably, having to look away. "Dave, man, it's okay. It wasn't your fault…"

"Yes. Yes it was. I can't…god, I'm just…sorry Adam. I'm sorry." He gently pulled Adam closer, hesitating slightly, before closing the inch between them. Adam found warm, chapped lips pressed gently against his own. He froze…then they were gone. Adam, stared as Dave pulled back and smiled. "God, when did we become such girls? Don't answer that. Come on, let's get you home." Dave stood, then reached a hand down to Adam. Adam looked back up the length of the arm into the gently smiling face behind it, and suddenly, it was okay. This was Dave, and Dave was his best friend. They were going to be okay. He took the hand and the two friends walked back towards the KOK house, idly chatting about the game on Friday.


End file.
